Archive for May, 2005
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Meanest reviews for Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
Wednesday, May 25th, 2005
I have seen the latest installment of the Star Wars saga, and can say without reservation that I hope someone other than Lucas decides to remake Episodes I through III. I’m also hoping it will be either Martin Scorsese, Francis Ford Coppola, Michel Gondry or Spike Jonze. Anyone else just wouldn’t be as interesting, would they?
Anyhoo…here are a few of my kindred brethren who weren’t so fond of the movie, though I’ve not felt the need to be quite as harsh. Some of them are quite creative…and, er…evil when you get right down to it. Amazing to think that people can get so persnickety about a movie…especially a movie that largely takes place in outer space.
Peter Travers of Rolling Stone: “Hayden Christensen — to merely call him wooden is an affront to puppets everywhere” and “Drink the Kool-Aid. Wear blinders. Cover your ears. Because that’s the only way you can totally enjoy Revenge of the Sith….”
Walter Chaw of Film Freak Central: “Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (hereafter Episode III) is a lot like watching paint dry, with the manic light shows coming off at best as some slack particulate hustle.” and “The magic died a long time ago, see, and Episode III is just the death twitch.”
Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat of Rotten Tomatoes: “R2D2 is the only fun character in this laborious drama, and it’s not much of a recommendation for Lucas as writer and director that a robot is the best thing in the movie.”
Jeffrey Bruner of the Des Moines Register: “For me, some of the groaners in ‘Sith’ are so painful they’re worse than even the Ewok Dance.” and “Christensen has to trudge his way through two moments that provoked howls of laughter in the theater — one as Anakin enters the Jedi Temple to prove what an evil guy he has become, and the second as Vader that’s incredibly funny. Too bad Lucas was trying to write a tragedy and not farce.”
Josh Bell of Las Vegas Weekly: “There is nothing fun about Sith, except maybe the opening space battle, and it’s not so much an adventure as an ordeal.”
Jami Bernard of New York Daily News: “And still the dialogue is astonishingly feeble, the acting unforgivably wooden. To paraphrase Yoda, the only creature with truly human dimensions ever since Harrison Ford’s cowboy-mechanic Han Solo departed the galaxy: Bored I am.” and “When Samuel L. Jackson’s noble Mace Windu effectively tells Anakin to go to his room, you know the Dark Side is just a temper tantrum away.”
Thomas Delapa of Boulder Weekly: “Otherwise known as I Was a Teenage Darth Vader, Star Wars III is dull, puerile and underwritten, not that it will matter to its lemming-like legion of fans.”
Ouch. More at Rotten Tomatoes.
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